Hello again everyone! It has been a month or two! I took a short break during the month of December to refresh, renew and heal! Now I’m back with this next blog post, and back for the new year! Today I want to talk about how not to be in rush. This is a topic that has been on my heart for several months now, and I wanted to cover it this month through this blog, along with my next podcast episode and a YouTube video! So let’s get this thing rolling, shall we.

How do I Understand This Topic?

My personal definition of how not to be in rush can be simplified into this: trust and wait. Although shortly I will go into depth about it, I wanted to summarize what I will be getting into. What do I mean when I say trust and wait though? I mean trusting and waiting on the Lord. There are many examples in the Bible where people were told to wait on the Lord. The word “wait” appears in the Bible over 100 times, which varies depending on the version you use. Point is though, that’s over 100 times where the word “wait” is used! Even though all of God’s word is important, if a specific word appears a lot of times, it normally has special significance. The Hebrew word for wait is “qavah” (pronounced Kaw-vaw’), and it has a little more to say about waiting. It also means to look for, hope, and expect! Which means that to wait according to the Lord isn’t just sitting around doing nothing, it means we are expectingly hoping for the blessing the Lord will give us! Now it seems at this point that blog is going more in the direction of waiting than it is how not to be in rush, right? Well, you see, (if you haven’t guessed already), waiting plays a huge part in learning how not to rush!

We probably all have seen or heard of how long some of the characters in the Bible had to wait on God’s promises to be fulfilled. Abraham and Sarah had to wait 25 years for their son Isaac to be born; Moses had to wait 40 years before leading Israel out of Egypt; David waited 15 years in between anointing to become the next king of Israel and then taking his rightful place on the throne; Even Jesus had to wait 30 years before starting His mission. I know some of us look at these numbers and think: “well, that was back then in those societies and cultures, but it’s different now.” The only thing that’s changed is what’s already been said many times over, and I will say it again: we live in a culture of rush and instant satisfaction. If you think that just because we live in a different culture and society that God will expedite the promises He has spoken over you, think again. We must remember we serve God, not the other way around. He does not tailor to our every want just because we “feel like we need it now”. In my own experience, He has taught me a lot of patience, but definitely loves to test that haha. I have truly been in the midst of learning how not to rush and to trust in the Lord’s perfect timing.

…”we are expectingly hoping for the blessing the Lord will give us!“

My Wrongs That Lead to My Rights

I am definitely not a perfect person by any means. There have been many times where I grew impatient, and ended up taking an action that I regretted later on. A prime example is instead on waiting for the Lord’s provision financially-wise, I would take matters into my own hands and sell stuff quick. Many times I did not ask the Lord about selling those things, which resulted in me trusting in myself more to provide the funds necessary to survive. The Lord had pointed this out to me though, and I have learned slowly but surely to trust in the Lord to provide for me instead of me trying to figure it out on my own. Another example is I used to have impulsive spending habits. There would be a lot of times that I wanted to buy something now just because I “had to have it”. The Lord pointed this out to me as well, and since then I rarely if ever make an impulsive decision. Also a lot of my purchases nowadays have become more of “what do I need”, and the wants are only every now and then and only if I have the spare cash and am not convicted when I buy it. I’ve literally had moments where the Lord has told me it’s alright to go into a coffee shop to buy some coffee, because He knows how much I get “filled” by them. He does know what you enjoy, and a lot of times what you enjoy He doesn’t shame, but uses those things as way to draw you into Rest.

Something interesting in all of what I’ve learned about myself is that I actually enjoy not rushing. In fact, I’ve come to utterly hate the rush of this world. It sometimes gets to the point of self-righteousness, where I feel like really wanting to point out the fault in others, however He has helped me realize that everyone is at a different point in their sanctification process, and He will deal with that area for them when it’s time. I really enjoy taking my time with everything, thinking through something before doing it, making sure it’s not just done right, but done well. Oftentimes though for people who are so used to their way of living and thinking, I can come across as different. Sometimes I’m viewed as rude, don’t care, or even angry. This is actually a common thing said about a lot of introverts when they are quiet and spend a lot of time to themselves. Those things simply aren’t true though. I specifically like to live a quiet and simple life, free from conflict and the rush of this world. I know however that sometimes there will be situations where that life will get disrupted, simply because I believe in the truth that most people don’t. My very morals, values and beliefs are in constant conflict with the flesh and the ways of this world, so clashes are just bound to happen. Even in this though, Jesus has given me so much peace! The love of God has also been flowing through me, to give grace where it is needed. Often times the reason people get upset is more so to do with light being shed on a dark place, where strongholds have held their place for years.

So How Do We Not Be In Rush?

This is now where I give all of you stuff I’ve learned and am still learning for how not to be in rush. One thing you can practice when you’re out and about in a city is waiting for the light to turn green and the walking symbol displays before crossing the street. I know this seems like an obvious thing to do anyways, but most times I find that people don’t follow those rules, especially if there are no cars in sight. I practice this mainly for patience, but it definitely plays into not rushing. I challenge you to do this in fact. At first I bet it will be hard, since there will definitely be an urge to “go”, but resist the urge, rest in the patient presence of God, and cross when it tells you to. I think a really good way to live each day is moment by moment, listening to what the Holy Spirit wants you to do. Although I’ve gotten much better at this, the “listening for what the Holy Spirit wants me to do next” is still getting worked on. Something I’ve learned from this though is to take it a day at a time. I’m someone who usually dives headfirst into a bunch of things, but I found out (or even already knew), I get overwhelmed pretty easily by doing this. I found that writing down my goals in general and then getting specific about them has really helped me to not be overwhelmed and take everything day by day. I still have a bit of work to do in that area as well, but I see that He has made me so much better than I used to be.

I think another way to not be in rush is spending time with Jesus without a time restraint. I find that when I rest in His presence in my room with having no plans and no time restraint, I become most at rest and not rushed. There’s just something about spending time with God who is outside of time that causes me to be still. It’s like taking a long breath in and breath out, letting everything go that is out of my control, and resetting my focus on the only One who can really help me. I think this resetting can be done numerous times throughout the day, especially when we catch ourselves in “rush”. If you have “too much” going on with your day, taking this moment to think on Jesus can really do so much for your entire well-being. The amount of times I have done this I’ve never regretted it once, and quite honestly it has helped me by humbling me, reminding me that I’m not the one in control.

“There’s just something about spending time with God who is outside of time that causes me to be still.”

Yes, This Has an Ending

Have you grown impatient for the end now? Haha just kidding. We’ve finally reached it! Thank you for reading another one of my blog posts, and for sticking with me through it! I hope each and every one of you takes the words that the Lord has spoken through me and taught me to heart, and everyone starts practicing more of how not to be in rush! I would love to see more people “not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of their minds!” (Romans 12:2). Let us continue running this race faithfully together, learning to continually be patient and wait on the Lord for the fulfilling of His great promises! See everyone next time!

Hello again everyone! Today I would like to talk about sacrifice; what it means and what it means to me, examples, failures and fears, and how it applies to my life currently. There are a lot of things to cover with this topic, so let’s get right into it!

What do I mean by “Sacrifice”

When I look up definitions of sacrifice, I get some various answers. The definition of sacrifice I will be using is the giving up of something valuable, in order to gain something much better. In that context, sacrifice to me can mean anything from material possessions, emotions, and even dreams. It also means to me giving up your time, talents, and energy for a greater purpose. This could look like giving a coat to a stranger who doesn’t have one, serving on the worship team at your church, or even being there for a friend who just needs someone to listen to them. While these are all great examples, the core of sacrifice for me is to give up my life for Christ, like He laid down His life for me. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if Jesus hadn’t completely changed it. His example of what it truly means to sacrifice taught me what to do when I do sacrifice, which to me seems like giving up all of myself. I think of the verse now that goes: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friend.“ (John 15:13). What a noble display of sacrifice! If I think about scenarios that revolve around this, I could definitely see myself saving my friends lives in place of my own. I mean, I would literally take a bullet for my friends. I also think of being hospitable to all people. Something I really like to do when I invite someone over to hang out is to cook them a meal, since cooking is something I really like to do, and I love to serve people in that way. In this example, I’m giving up resources (money) to provide the meal, time to cook the meal, and talents I’ve learned so that it’s a good meal. The cool thing that I love about serving people is that I’m also serving God, and in turn, the Lord gives me the strength to do the serving!

Failures & Fears…

There might be some similar things I’ve talked about before. When I think of all the times I’ve failed to sacrifice, I immediately think of when I defaulted to video games and tv almost every day, especially when I was tired. There is something about pushing through even when you’re tired to achieve and accomplish goals and dreams. In this case, sacrificing whatever energy I have left in order to fulfill dreams and goals really pays off in the long run, but I spent so many years not doing that. This mindset also caused me to be somewhat unintentional when it came to my friendships. I can remember so many missed opportunities and moments, simply because I chose myself over others. This is something that I regret, but I have given that up to God, and in turn, He has changed me and made me into so much more than I can imagine! Another thing I failed to sacrifice was holding onto things and people that weren’t meant for me anymore. I can’t quite remember why I was like this, maybe I was scared to let go of people who meant a lot to me, or maybe the things I had I was so used to that getting out of them required a lot of effort. In any case, I had failed to sacrifice those things in the right timing, but God still came through by making it evidently obvious to me that those things and people weren’t supposed to be a part of my life anymore. It was in the letting go that I found I could truly move on, and in turn the feeling of failure also left me.

Sacrificing my fears are another thing that led to a lot of failures over the years. I remember I had a lot of fear with being bold and courageous, whether that be with emotions, or for the faith. There are of course other things, like fear of losing friends because I was being a peacekeeper, but not a peacemaker. This was a huge sacrifice for me, because it took years to realize how much of a people pleaser I was. There are times when I still reel from the effects of those years, and they do show up from time to time, but only slightly. With the help of Jesus, and some amazing new awesome friends He has provided, I have been learning how to not people please and am taking steps and strides to really sacrifice that side of myself (dying to myself daily).

“It was in the letting go that I found I could truly move on, and in turn the feeling of failure also left me.”

Other fears I have been overcoming are boldly stepping into all the Lord has for me, and not letting anything or anyone get in the way of that, truly relying on God’s perfect timing in things and what He has spoken, and new dreams and goals He has set in my path. I’ve really learned not to run away or fight these fears, but to give them up to God first, and just simply trusting that the Lord is in control. This looks like “…taking captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5). In practicality, any time a thought enters my mind that would cause me to fear, I will think of the thought itself going up into the light of God and being destroyed. The Holy Spirit will replace it with the Word of God coming to my mind, sometimes repeating. I won’t say I’m perfect in this practice, since I am still a human, there are times when my anxiety ramps up and all of the wrong scenarios play out in my head. Since I am an internal processor, it is very easy for me to get overwhelmed, which in turn causes me to doubt what God has spoken. Praise the Lord though for His faithfulness! He shows up every time to be my peace in the midst of mental and/or emotional storms!

The Sacrifices I Make Today

There are some sacrifices that apply to my life today that have become very important. I mentioned some of them already, but I want to talk about a few more. Pride isn’t anything new to me, but for what I’ve been called to, I’ve realized I have to be more aware of it. Of course, I’m talking about the pride that bloats the ego and pedestals yourself. It’s been interesting having the feeling the pride come up more, but I’m also thankful that the Holy Spirit has made me more aware of it so I can catch it fast. I want to say that I never want to be raised on a pedestal, I want Christ to be magnified and glorified above me. Something closer to home about this would be seeing how many views I get on whatever I post. I try to be cautious about this, and I always have to remind myself that it’s not about how many views I get, but rather who it reaches. The blog post, YouTube video, song, story, reel, or whatever form it takes, I trust that God will show it to whoever needs to see it. I’d rather have at least one life impacted, than no lives at all. I think of the verse that goes “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

One more important type of sacrificing is doing. As I am stepping into a new lifestyle of being a Christian creative, and really learning what that means, I have found myself resting more. Something I’ve started to realize with this new lifestyle is that it is very easy to keep “doing” something. There’s always another project, another post, another meeting. It’s the same thing as getting caught up in the rush. I’ve been really learning though of how healthy it can be to sacrifice the “do” for the “rest”. I rest in a multitude of ways, whether that be listening or playing worship music, playing a video game every once in a while, watching tv every now and then, sitting in silence and processing thoughts, basking in the presence of God, drinking tea while watching YouTube, taking a walk out in nature on a trail, and some others as well. Each time I invite the Lord into those spaces, I always get refreshed, renewed and restored!

Ending It Here

That was a good one! I hope each person that reads this will be encouraged to sacrifice, even in the face of great fears and past failures! Trust that the Lord your God has got you through all of this, and He will never let you down or fail you! Thank you all for your time, and may you continue to be richly blessed in all He has for you!

Hello again everyone! This one is right at the end (a little later than I would have liked), but that’s okay! Today I wanted to talk all about trust and what that means to me! I would like to talk about how I’ve trusted in God, trusted in others, and even my failings at trust! I’m really excited for this one, so let’s get on with it!

The Meaning…

Trust is defined as “firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something.”, at least according to the Oxford dictionary. When I think of trust, I think of two people being vulnerable with one another, sharing things they might or might not have shared with others, while being accepting of whatever comes out. Trust to me is incredibly important, and means a lot when it comes to all types of relationships. After all, if we don’t have trust in the other person, there isn’t much of a relationship, since relationships are built on trust. For me, if I can’t trust the other person, it becomes really hard for me to engage and interact with them. I’ve had experiences with people who have lied to me a lot, and it is so obvious, that wanting to even say hello to them becomes hard. This is why I need Jesus though, because He teaches me grace, mercy, and love in ways I never thought possible, which in turn allows me to display that same grace, mercy, and love unto others. Even if I can’t fully trust in the other person, I can trust that Jesus is fulfilling what He wants both of us to receive in that conversation or action.

Failure To Trust

I feel like culture and society has really culminated a fear of trusting people (which actually is lies from the enemy). With all the negative articles, fake news, bad news, rumors, lies, and judgement coming from everywhere, it can be hard to trust in people, let alone to even dare ourselves to trust anything again. There is a lot of pain and fear that has been spread around, and so many times, we hold onto that pain and fear simply because we haven’t been taught another way to live. In my own life, I find it hard to fully trust in people. It’s like I only really allow certain people to really get to know me, but I’m not sure if that’s a healthy boundary by “guarding my heart”, or if I’m pushing people away because of fear of how they’ll react. This comes out as people not only getting to know me at a slow pace, but also often times being misunderstood, simply because I don’t speak out about what’s really going on, or I don’t talk about what I’ve been processing. I truly believe that some people are meant to be in your life only for a season, and sometimes a short one at that, but I sometimes wonder if people don’t end up sticking around me for long periods of time, since for certain people and for whatever reason I’m not fully open with them. There is, however, hope in all this. As you develop your relationship with Jesus, He teaches you how to fully trust in Him, and in turn helps you to trust people more. The cool thing is, once you start trusting people more and allow people in deeper and deeper, those people also start trusting you more and let you get to know them on deeper levels as well. Something else that’s interesting about failing to trust is that it produces pain, whether it’s because you didn’t trust or the other person didn’t. We soon then find ourselves having walls put up because we don’t think people can be trusted based off our past experiences, and if we don’t reconcile and resolve the pain, it ends up getting embedded into us, and a lot of times pushed down, to the point that we start making it our identity. The dangerous thing about making it our identity is that it influences our thoughts, emotions, interactions, relationships, and so much of our life. That “pain” that’s left there, not being dealt with, ends up controlling us, and to put that another way, we become “slaves” to our pain, and to the fear of putting our trust in someone or something.

“The cool thing is, once you start trusting people more and allow people in deeper and deeper, those people also start trusting you more and let you get to know them on deeper levels as well.”

What can we do about this “pain” then? Many people might tell you that there isn’t any hope, and that you’ll just have to endure it on your own. You know what that sounds like to me though: it sounds like giving up. Here’s the thing: if I didn’t know for certain that there was hope, and even a way out of the pain, I wouldn’t be talking about it. Like I said above, there is hope, and it is truly found in Jesus. I am living testimony that you can get out of that “pain”, because I’ve been in that place many times. It took a while for me to get out of it though, I mean the Lord had to break off multiple mindsets, do a lot of healing, and show me good examples of what it means to fully trust in Him and people. I’ll tell you something I believe in as well: if the Lord did it for me, He can definitely do it through you. I do not believe in a God that gives up or is distant. He is near and dear to each and every one of us, personally involved in every aspect of our lives, but we do have to invite Him into those spaces, because God won’t force anything onto us.

Trust Goes A Long Way!

When you really think about it, trust really goes a long way! There have definitely been times (even recently), where I’ve doubted what the Lord has spoken to me. I remember it being hard to get out of the doubt, because when you’re in waiting for the promises He said would happen, it can cause you to get impatient and really question if those promises will ever be fulfilled. That’s why though I love how God gives confirmations and affirmations for what He tells you will happen. I remember the time before I moved from the small town I was living in to the city I’m in now since a bit over five years ago. I remember desiring to move to a city, really wanting my life to change, and wondering if I was going to be “stuck” in that small town forever. I guess it’s a common thing for a lot of people in small towns, to really want to get out and live in other places, and I definitely fell into that category. I knew God would provide a way, and He did, but I also remember the months leading up to the move were some of the darkest times in my faith. I wasn’t going to church at all, I was in cycles of sin, and even though I had faith, I found it really hard to fully follow Jesus in those months. I even ended up wondering if my desire for the family in Christ I wanted was ever going to happen. Just as the Lord is always faithful and personal, He did provide all these things for me, and even better than what I hoped for! He restored my trust in Him fully, and gave me a family in Christ that I could truly trust in, although it still took a while to come out of my shell for that!

Nowadays I’m trusting in God for so many things! I’ve talked before about how this season of my life has some big changes for the better, but with these changes comes an immense amount of trust in Him! I find that the Lord will always lead you to places where you have to depend on Him, and the dependence will increase to greater heights as He brings you to steward more and more! Matthew 25:23 says “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!‘” I believe that once we show God that we can steward the little things He gives us well, then we will receive more from Him, which shows that He trusts us to handle more!

Well Done!

Well here we are at the end! You made it! I hope that today’s blog will encourage, challenge, and help you to trust more! Remember that relationship with Jesus first teaches us how to truly trust, and in turn helps us to trust and open ourselves up to others more! Thank you all for reading, see you next time!

Happy Easter!!!

Hello again everyone, and happy Easter!!! As of the time of writing this, it’s not officially Easter yet, but by the time some of you read this, it will either be Easter or past it. Today I would like to talk about what Easter means to me, and how it has had an Impact on my life. I hope and pray that each of you that reads this blog today will receive something out of it! Let’s get into it!

First Things First

What is Easter? Some people will tell you that it originated as a pagan holiday to celebrate the spring equinox (which is actually true); others will tell you it’s a capitalist holiday for people to buy a whole bunch of temporary junk in order to make companies more money (which is technically also true); but for me and many other people around the world who follow Jesus, Easter is a time to celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, after He died for our sins and was buried for three days. It is said that the celebration started very early on, maybe even soon after Jesus was resurrected (people celebrated Jesus’ resurrection around the time of the Jewish Passover). Just in case people don’t know, the Jewish Passover is a festival celebrated by the Jews (as God had commanded them to celebrate), from being liberated as slaves of Egypt. It is also about God “passing over” every Israelites doorpost that had lamb blood on it. If you want to read about it in more detail, you can find it in Exodus 12:1-30. The week of Easter is typically called Holy Week, and it starts on a Sunday the week before with Palm Sunday (representing Jesus’ re-arrival into Jerusalem, and how He rode in on a donkey with people on both sides waving palm branches), Good Friday (which celebrates Jesus’ sacrifice for us on the cross for our sins), and Easter Sunday (which like I’ve said celebrates Jesus’ resurrection from the dead)! Well now that you know what Easter is truly about, let’s move on!

What Does It Mean to Me?

Easter to me is about celebrating what I was talking about above, which is the Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead! I truly believe that Jesus died for my sins, was buried for three days, and rose again on the third day! This is in fact the Gospel message, and the resurrection is especially crucial to every believer today. Without the resurrection of Christ, Christianity would probably not exist. In 1 Corinthians 15:5-8, we learn that Jesus appeared to more than 500 people, including the one who is writing the letter, which is Paul! When I think about the fact that over 500 people got to see Jesus after He rose from the dead, the evidence to me is undeniable! I mean, what if over 500 people saw a miracle happen in today’s world that goes beyond what could be humanly understood? I would have to believe it! Trying to get more than 500 people to lie about something as big as this would be pointless and would end up proving nothing in the end! To me, like many others, the resurrection of Christ symbolizes that we have new life in Him! It goes like this: Jesus died for our sins (what God considers evil in His eyes that separates us from having a relationship with Him), so our slate is wiped clean (every single person’s sin from the past, present, and future), the sins stay dead and buried along with Jesus’ burial, representing that our old life before Christ is gone for Eternity, and that as Jesus was raised from the dead, we have our new life in Christ to completely live for Him! Before we were running into death and Hell for Eternity by our own choice (God does not send us to Hell!!!), and now we are running towards Eternity with Jesus from the moment we choose Him here on Earth!!!

Brace for Impact!

The impact that Jesus and Easter have had on my life has been amazing! I remember as a kid doing egg scavenger hunts, eating chocolate bunnies, getting Easter gift baskets, and all the other fun things associated with Easter, including the Easter bunny! While all those things can be good and fun, as I grew older, Easter started having a very different meaning for me, which I talked about above! Having new life in Jesus is part of the identity He tells us, so for me the resurrection of Christ and what it represents has a profound impact on me, especially because of all the things and times Jesus has saved me from myself. I literally would not be here today if it weren’t for Jesus! I mean that last sentence quite literally, and I’m about to share why (going to be completely vulnerable on here). When I was a freshman in high school, I made a suicide attempt. I haven’t told a lot of people about it, because it’s not something I really think about often, but I remember it clear as day. I knew for certain that if I had continued with it, I would not go to heaven, even as a person who has been saved. There was the moment where I thought it was about to end, and in that moment, I felt an intense amount of darkness sweep over me, to the point that I knew what would happen if I continued. Praise the Lord that He had other plans for my life and saved me from never attempting it again! “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” (1 Peter 2:9). This is the verse I thought of while writing about what I just said. Especially when God pulled me from depression at the age of twenty-two, He “…called me out of darkness into His wonderful light…” and freed me from that darkness For All Eternity!

The Closing

Jesus is constantly with us, impacting us, changing us, and reminding us of who we are and who He is. As we go celebrate the resurrection of Jesus this Easter Sunday, let us look back to the point of our Salvation, look back and look around at the faithfulness of what God has done and is doing, and look forward to all that God has for us, trusting completely that His “…thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways His ways, declares the Lord, as the heavens are higher than the earth, so His ways are higher than your ways, and His thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

First and Foremost…

 Hello everyone! It has been a while since I have posted last (last post being July 2023). My apologies to everyone who does read this blog. I can’t really explain any reasons as to why I haven’t posted in a while, only to say that the Lord was working through me on a bunch of things, and I think I just got lazy. I was caught up in the business of life and work, combined with everything having to do with God. There are going to be some changes though, and one of those changes starts here! I want to clarify something I said in my last post. I said that I would write one blog post a week, but I realized that it was a lot to take on. After recently doing some thinking (also something I had thought about ever since I started this blog), I’m going to commit to writing one blog post a month. I think that this is very doable and will take pressure off trying to get too many out at once. I don’t know yet if I will have a set day each month to get one out, but I know that it will be at least once a month! I believe that God has taught me a lot so far (barely anything compared to what He knows!), and He wants me to disciple people and share what I have learned through Him and His word!

 Something else I want to address really quickly is about my dream for music. It is definitely a slow process. I learned a bit in Ableton Live Free, and even attempted to start making a song. I had put a pause though for a while and dropped it altogether. I wasn’t giving up on it, but rather taking a break to figure some things out. The Lord though has definitely given me resources to carry out what He’s called me to!

The Changing Tides

 Let’s move on now to some changes that have started taking place in my life. At the beginning of this year, the Lord told me it was going to be a year of change. I have told some people that although I didn’t get a physical vision of changes, I “envisioned” the changes that were coming. It’s like I somehow could see without fully seeing! I also want to recognize that when the Lord does something in our lives, it often isn’t how we thought it was going to turn out or be. Some of the changes that have already happened are more for personal development, while others are for reasons I don’t quite understand, but I’m trusting and receiving fully what the Lord has for me!

 Getting into specifics, God is providing avenues, ways, and people to be able to pursue music. There are open doors and opportunities to really chase after this dream, and I don’t want to just sit around and miss them. I believe the Holy Spirit within me won’t allow me to just sit still, and so I’m going to pursue everything that God has for me, with boldness and courage, doing my best not to hesitate. I will still pray and process through all the changes, but I’m so tired of just sitting here and letting life pass by with nothing to show for it and without it moving forward! It’s time that I really truly step into what God wants me to do, and actually start trusting that He’ll provide what I need for what He’s called me to!!!

 Some of the other changes that the Lord is doing currently is calling me to a different church (which was very recent), taking me to my next job (which is currently still in the process), connecting me with a new group of people, and something else that will take time and require a lot of prayer and processing (I won’t say it here because it’s very personal). Also, not as important but I’ve gotten back into drawing/sketching as a small hobby.

God Will Work It Out!

 I’m going to be honest with all of you. Change is scary. There is so much that goes on mentally and emotionally with change, that it can be hard to process it all. Pretty recently a friend told me that there is grief that comes with change, simply because what we were once comfortable with is no longer going to be there, and we are stepping into something new. One of the main issues that comes with change is when people get in the way of what God is doing in a person’s life. The phrase “let God be God” can be a hard one for many people to accept, because it requires us to surrender control of our own lives and control over other people’s lives to let God do what He wants to do. Essentially, we have to let go of pride and humble ourselves so God can actually give us the blessing that will propel us forward into the plans that He has for our lives. Letting go of control though can be hard for many people. Control allows us to feel like we have it all set and we don’t need anyone else to tell us what to do. It actually causes us to be slaves to our own selfish ambition of power, which in turn actually hurts us and others more than we care to realize. Without surrender to the changes that God wants to do in us though, we essentially “stall” the life that God wants to give us, and this same thing applies when we do this to others. Yes, I’m aware that some people (including myself) have made certain choices and mistakes that have led them to where they are now, but if we don’t forgive and move on from those mistakes and choices, we show that we haven’t fully trusted God in His healing power and grace for ourselves and others, and actually cause ourselves and that person to not be able to move forward. Only Jesus can reconcile all these things, and fully heal us from the pain that we have caused ourselves and others.

Looking Towards New Horizons

 I’m going to start with a quote from Longfellow: “Man must have something higher than himself to think of!”. I know when I only trust in myself, everything falls apart and messes up, or I take pride because I’ll get a bloated head saying it was me who did it; but when I choose to trust in God (“…something higher than myself…”), I find that something much better than what I could fathom falls into place. It is in the surrender and letting go that I find “…peace that surpasses all understanding.” (Philippians 4:7). As I look to newer horizons, I see the amazing work that God is doing in me and the changes He is doing in my life. Even though I’ve tried explaining on here the best I can, it’s also something that I can’t fully explain, something that you have to experience for yourself in order to fully “get it”. These changes that God is doing in my life will have a profound impact on the future He has for me, and I’m so excited to see it all play out, while enjoying the process along the way.

Closing Remarks

 I want to first thank Jesus for everything He is doing in my life, more than I can express! I want to thank all the people in my life who have helped me to see and understand difficult things, including change! I hope and pray that people will find encouragement in this blog post, and also hopefully learn something new! Let us “…continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 3:18), all together so that we will be continually sanctified (made more like Christ). I will end with another quote: “All which happens in the whole world happens through hope. No husbandman would sow a grain of corn if he did not hope it would spring up and grow forth the ear. How much more are we helped on by hope in the way to eternal life!” (Luther).

Hello Again!

Hey guys, it’s me again, ya boy Steeps, back again for another blog post! I’m excited to get this one underway! Today we’ll be talking about dreams & goals, which is a topic that the Lord has had on my heart for the past month. I’ll start with how I viewed dreams and goals in the past, and then I’ll move on to how I view them today and give some Bible verses about them. I want to present to everyone what a healthy Biblical perspective on dreams & goals is. Without further ado, let’s get rolling!

Past Views…

It was always hard for me to see myself in a big way, let alone a better place. For most of my life I found it hard to have dreams and goals, for the simple fact that my view on what a man was, was to give up. Every time I had tried to start something, but it was hard or there was a complication, I instinctively just gave up on it. This happened because of how I viewed myself as a man, and how I thought a man was, based off of examples in my life (which really wasn’t many). Sure, I had dreams of various things in my life, and I had really wanted to do them, but I simply didn’t understand at the time things like commitment, and how it takes work for good things to be accomplished. I remember the disappointment I felt in myself, and the disappointment in others, every time I gave up a dream or goal. I would listen to and believe lies that I could never achieve those dreams or goals because of my past and my mistakes. Another issue that played a part was being belittled through words and actions from others, which always made me feel less than. I would always default to doing things easy, even though I desired to work hard and really accomplish something big! I would set goals for myself, only to let myself and others down, even to the point of feeling guilt that wasn’t actually from God, but really from myself and the enemy. Sometimes, even nowadays, I still have battles of unworthiness and that I’m not good enough because of my past. They were strongholds in my mind, and freedom from them took a long time to overcome. I found it hard to ask for help for anything, for the simple fact that I felt isolated, and had done things with me and Jesus for so long, that asking for help felt like it wouldn’t help me or change anything at all. I was pretty hard on myself back then, always doubting, always giving up, never really allowing anyone to truly get to know me because of my trust issues. Then something started to change within me, and I’ll talk about that next!

Changes For the Better!

I’m not sure at which point the changes started happening, but it was definitely within the past several years that they were going on. I remember a lot of healings that God did, and also some deep ones. With the healings, they allowed me to see myself more of how Jesus sees me. Pair that with strongholds destroyed and removed from my mind, and you’ve got yourself a restored child of God who’s ready for more! Let’s say a common verse: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV). I know that’s a very common verse used in a lot of instances, but if you think about it in terms of dreams & goals, it fits very well. God is a dream-giver, and His dreams are always so much more than what we could come up with for ourselves. I mean, I never would have imagined or even considered going to the mission field in India until God called me (as I explained in my blog post, It’s Been a While.) We all look for hope, and also hope we have a future, so the fact that God already has a plan for our life, makes it very reassuring that I don’t have to do this whole life thing by myself! Psalm 37:4 NIV (which is another common verse), says “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I want to clarify that the desires talked about here are good desires that aren’t sinful or selfish. I have found that there are good desires that God places within each of us (such as wanting to get married) that God does honor in His perfect timing. This verse does point out though that God comes first before anything else, and so I see it as a second-by-second surrender to His Will.

My Current Dreams & Goals

I want to start off with some verses. 1 Peter 4:10 says “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” Also, Exodus 31:3-5 says, “And I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability, and knowledge in all kinds of crafts.” These verses specify gifts of God we have received through the Spirit that we are to use to serve God and others. They also say that there are a numerous number of gifts (definitely more than we can fathom), that everyone has been supplied with. This means that while there are similar gifts, every single person could have one gift that’s unique to them. Recently I’ve realized there are some gifts I have that align with a dream I’ve had for a long time, but never really chased after it hard. The good thing about this dream is that it’s definitely able to be used to glorify and worship God, and I believe He wants me to do just that. The dream is making music! I always knew I had a special connection with music, given that a lot of my family and I are musically oriented in some sort of way. My sister is such an amazing singer, my brother was in band back in high school (and did some metal singing at one point), both my mom and dad can play the piano (my dad played it a lot more because of playing for churches), and I was in choir for six years, danced freestyle to lose weight, and messed around with some instruments (not to mention I can be very picky when it comes to music that I like). This, along with being told I have a good voice, has all lead me to believe that now is the time to start this dream. There is a lot to learn, it’s going to take a lot of hard work and discipline, but I’m definitely committed to the process, and very much enjoying it as well! Another thing I’ve been told is that God has given me a gift of writing, and so while I probably won’t write a book, I will definitely be writing in this blog, and will do the best I can to pump one blog post out a week!

Conclusion

Oxford Languages describes a dream as “a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal.” It describes a goal as “the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.” Seeing as how God has turned me into much more of a prepared person, I’d say that achieving these dreams & goals of mine are easier than they were, and this time I’m not giving up! Change is hard, and I know it will still take time to adjust my schedule so that productivity for these dreams & goals goes through the roof! I know though that my God won’t abandon me, and He will help me through this process, to get me to the place He needs me to be at, so I can use these dreams & goals to glorify, honor, and worship Him! I’m so excited for this new season of life, and this journey that God has me on, and there is not enough thanks and praise that I can give Him that will ever repay all He’s done for me!

To God be the Glory for ever and ever, Amen!

What’s Been Going On?

So it’s been almost three years since I last wrote in here. That’s a long time for a blog! Let me just say that I had no motivation to write in here anymore after the last one I wrote. I enjoyed writing in here, but I simply stopped and didn’t really think about it for a while, but I’m pretty sure at the time the Spirit was leading me away from this. Well now I want to update everyone since there has been a LOT that has happened! While I won’t remember everything, I’m also not going into too much detail for the past three years, since the more recent changes are what has motivated me to write in here again. So without further ado, here we go!

What Has Changed

I think the first thing I want to address is talking about my calling. When I wrote last I told everyone that I felt my calling was to be a leader in Chi Alpha Campus Ministries. While I have really enjoyed my time there, at the beginning of 2021, the Spirit gave me a calling that was out of nowhere and I never expected. I was called to be a Missionary to India! This came from left field, and it was quite the change in direction for my life! Since then, I have gotten confirmations and affirmations, given the specific city to go to, and given the organization to go through, plus have been told to start preparing. Although all of those things happened for my calling, after much prayer and consideration, I believe that it will take several years before I will get to the point of even starting the process of going (although I know God can tell me to go at any time). Before this calling happened though, I had started transitioning into the Young Adults group at church. At that time and for a while, I was doing both Chi Alpha and Young Adults. It was all really good, but eventually I felt like being more involved with Young Adults was where I needed to go, so I went to Chi Alpha meetings less and less, and started focusing a lot more on Young Adults and what was going on there. I have been through a lot with Young Adults, and I have thoroughly enjoyed everything that has happened with them. With all of this, there of course was a lot of changes, and some growth that had to happen. I don’t remember specifically everything I’ve changed and grown in, but it is internalized, and being lived out, which is the important part! Now let’s talk about the recent changes!

A New Season!

Before I talk about this new season I’m in, I need to talk about the struggle that got me here. A couple months ago I was let go from my job, and normally I have a lot of faith in the provision of God, but for some reason this time around I struggled a lot with contentedness, and even though God was blessing me with small blessings to get me through, they were hard to see. I felt very pressured to get a job as soon as possible, and that made me impatient at times and also made it hard to rely on God’s timing. As I was praying through everything, God made it known to me that He was taking me through an Elijah/Joseph experience, and also was testing me to see if I was ready for what He was about to give me. Very recently God blessed me with a job, and right before the job, He gave me healing and peace for everything I was going through. Along with the job, God told me I needed to move on to the next phase in life, which means I’m now alternating between men’s group and Young Adults, mainly because He wants to teach me what it means to be a man. This was also spurred on by currently reading Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. This book has been really opening my eyes on what it means to be a man and a man of God. These recent changes have brought on this new season of life, and I am ever so grateful that God placed me where He did, coming up with a direction that I couldn’t have thought of on my own! The Lord has truly blessed me with this current season, and I can’t wait to discover more of what it means to be a man, and all the other blessings God wants to give me!

Conclusion

There is probably so much more I could say about everything, but if I did, a book’s worth might happen, so I’ll just keep this one short and sweet! I definitely want to talk more in the future, and dive into other topics, like the hobbies I have, and even some of the geeky things I’m into! I’m excited to get this going again, and even though I probably won’t have a regular schedule for this blog, I will at least do my best to upload here and there, and not leave yearly gaps in between lol. I want to thank all my family, family in Christ, and friends who have supported me; encouraged me; challenged me; and especially have been there and listened to me, all while continually guiding me to be more like Jesus each and every day! I thank God continually for being so good to me, regardless of how I’ve reacted to what has happened in my life. I pray that God will continually give me a heart for Him and people, and that I will continually shine the light and love of Christ for those around me.

In Jesus name I humbly ask and pray these things, amen.